; you're all i have

Newsflash:

Daniel's coming back.

My brother announced with a megawatt grin, that he had the latest scoop on Daniel. His discipline master told him that Daniel's mother was trying to get Daniel back into Singapore to finish his education.

When I heard I was stunned into raw astonishment and pure disbelief. Conflicting emotions were running like crazy across my head and heart and I guess it showed on my face, for Mich next to me was like, Jov, take a chill pill.

Why now, Baby? Why..

What am I supposed to do?

The other day I was just commenting in awe to my brother, "Daniel was.. almost exactly a year ago." And he was like, yeah.. God, how time flies.

I never thought he would ever return, him having a one year ban in Singapore. Yes, I've planned to visit him in Taiwan, but having him back here would be different. Very, very different..

He was the one who wanted me to find happiness.. but.. I can't help the guilt steamrolling, somehow. I know for a fact that he never had another girlfriend, after our brief but meaningful period together. Sigh.. I don't know..

Do I give up everything I have now because of you? Do we start over as friends, or do we continue where we left off? After all, we only ended because we didn't have a choice. Long distance was out of question we knew, for both of us. But judge us not, for it's hard enough even for the strongest couple, much less two people who never got together, not officially. Throw in the question of never seeing each other for years and that spells impossibility.

The other time we were talking, and you joked that the first thing you would do, if only you were in Singapore, would be to make me your girlfriend. We laughed it off, cos the thought that you would come back never crossed our minds, but..

One year seemed a lifetime ago, but we've been through the craziest issues, and that made you someone worth remembering. To this day I can remember the sweetest thing you said to me. I choose to look at you, and not the glorious sunrise, cos you're more beautiful than the sunrise to me. Corny perhaps, but your sincerity and smile far surpassed it.

So, tell me, how now, brown cow?


P.S. For the story of Jov and Daniel.. archives, August 20.