HEY WORLD,
bloody msn is screwing up on me when i need a little company. not gonna bother with the caps lock and all cos i'm half lost now. hahaha. bear with me, symptoms kicking in.
burn mother fucker, burn burn burn!
smoking more than i have in a long time, been seriously considering kicking the habit cos i haven't been feeling the urge and everything lately.
didn't realise i've changed my template again. cbox is too tedious to trifle around with so screw it.
okay la, lazy to type.
have a good time y'all!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
; faye's song
Wow, I can hardly believe how sporadic, random, and appallingly short my entries have been. I don't know, perhaps I'm just too much of a sloth these days, writing's become more of a chore than the blameless release I'd usually be grateful for.
See, I'm slouching on Le Chwee's very uncomfortable excuse of a chair, my fingers hesitant on the keyboard. As soon as I'm done, I'm off for a nicotine break.
Friday night, Saturday and just before daybreak on Sunday, I'm homesick already. I wanna get back home to my Babygirl, the Bros + the Cuz, my sweet and round Longan.
For those ever inquiring on my mental state, I'm good. Naturally, I'm not thrilled with the New Year's arrival and the sickening applications of resolutions you don't expect to keep but just have to make, but neither am I the least bit disturbed. Or unhappy. I guess the key word right now's Equilibrium.
I wonder if that exclusive little bunch I consider, True finds the term Soft spot, familiar? Doesn't it so suck to know the one your heart can't help but bleeds and shed simultaneously for is a complete and utter bastard? A no good fellow?
I'd hung out with a ghost of my past a few weeks back, and I was awed by how easy it was to chill and joke, and how history seemed to fade away while we were making new ones. Fresh images replaced the flashes that haunted, only this time the visions were pleasant, but ironically, more painful.
Intimacies of the flesh then, strangers were the beings whilst the bodies entwined in fiery embraces. Present they shared a laugh, a drink, not unlike.. Friends? Loathe the word.
Over and done with this overdone reverie.
Time to POP JI KI (LMAO OLD SCHOOL SIOL), and hopefully, POP JI LIAP tomorrow.
See, I'm slouching on Le Chwee's very uncomfortable excuse of a chair, my fingers hesitant on the keyboard. As soon as I'm done, I'm off for a nicotine break.
Friday night, Saturday and just before daybreak on Sunday, I'm homesick already. I wanna get back home to my Babygirl, the Bros + the Cuz, my sweet and round Longan.
For those ever inquiring on my mental state, I'm good. Naturally, I'm not thrilled with the New Year's arrival and the sickening applications of resolutions you don't expect to keep but just have to make, but neither am I the least bit disturbed. Or unhappy. I guess the key word right now's Equilibrium.
I wonder if that exclusive little bunch I consider, True finds the term Soft spot, familiar? Doesn't it so suck to know the one your heart can't help but bleeds and shed simultaneously for is a complete and utter bastard? A no good fellow?
I'd hung out with a ghost of my past a few weeks back, and I was awed by how easy it was to chill and joke, and how history seemed to fade away while we were making new ones. Fresh images replaced the flashes that haunted, only this time the visions were pleasant, but ironically, more painful.
Intimacies of the flesh then, strangers were the beings whilst the bodies entwined in fiery embraces. Present they shared a laugh, a drink, not unlike.. Friends? Loathe the word.
Over and done with this overdone reverie.
Time to POP JI KI (LMAO OLD SCHOOL SIOL), and hopefully, POP JI LIAP tomorrow.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
; what's left of right?
All my life I've stuck my nose up at the Poly route. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm too good for it, just that it's not the one for me.
Coming from an 'elite' *coughs* institution where 85% my entire cohort's O level passing grade was a single digit, and 100% under 20, poly was never in the books.
In retrospect, I remember how I envisioned myself in AJC playing volleyball, or in VJ which, incidentally was my dream Pre-U college. It wasn't ambitious then, I passed the Gifted exam and was in the top 5% of the entire Singapore of my year.
Now? I sneer at myself.
I've squandered my time, my life frivolously. I still am. And if I am to be brutally honest, I loathe every fibre of my being for it.
I cannot bring myself to leave my family and pursue further education in greener lands.
What's left of the right choices for me?
I don't know. I really, really don't.
Coming from an 'elite' *coughs* institution where 85% my entire cohort's O level passing grade was a single digit, and 100% under 20, poly was never in the books.
In retrospect, I remember how I envisioned myself in AJC playing volleyball, or in VJ which, incidentally was my dream Pre-U college. It wasn't ambitious then, I passed the Gifted exam and was in the top 5% of the entire Singapore of my year.
Now? I sneer at myself.
I've squandered my time, my life frivolously. I still am. And if I am to be brutally honest, I loathe every fibre of my being for it.
I cannot bring myself to leave my family and pursue further education in greener lands.
What's left of the right choices for me?
I don't know. I really, really don't.
Friday, January 11, 2008
; emo one mullen years
Monetary matters are so bringing me down. (so what else is new?)
The BF won't be booking out this weekend, his just deserts for sneaking in a few shut eye moments when he's supposed to be area cleaning. But fuck, why am I punished as well? :( :( :(
Rushing through my driving lessons so I can pick him up from camp without trouble the BF's mom. And less noble but more importantly, so I can get a car to call my own.
Seriously. I'm worn out, and weary. And this year's only beginning.
The BF won't be booking out this weekend, his just deserts for sneaking in a few shut eye moments when he's supposed to be area cleaning. But fuck, why am I punished as well? :( :( :(
Rushing through my driving lessons so I can pick him up from camp without trouble the BF's mom. And less noble but more importantly, so I can get a car to call my own.
Seriously. I'm worn out, and weary. And this year's only beginning.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
; against the world outside
I'm utterly bored of my blogskin, but I'm too lazy to get to doing a brand new piece.
Haven't been sleeping well these couple of days, my internal clock is screwed up again. Like, sleep at 1 or 2am, wake at 4am that kinda crap.
Okay enough whinings.
Driving lessons are the dope of my life. Fun fun fun fun fun though I tickled my instructor a bright pink when I yelled 'UNCLE! GONNA CRASH!'.
It's ironic how I used to find solace and security in blogging despite the heavy human traffic, and how I pause and delete every other phrase I form now.
Some things are better left unsaid, and more importantly, unread.
I never used to understand the 'I love in silence because in silence there is no rejection' line and thought it was dense and retarded. I mean, what the heck, it doesn't even make sense.
Now it does. Hell it burns in my mind.
Us both, hands are tied; hearts' not free.
But I'll give it up, give it all away, simply if you want me to.
Haven't been sleeping well these couple of days, my internal clock is screwed up again. Like, sleep at 1 or 2am, wake at 4am that kinda crap.
Okay enough whinings.
Driving lessons are the dope of my life. Fun fun fun fun fun though I tickled my instructor a bright pink when I yelled 'UNCLE! GONNA CRASH!'.
It's ironic how I used to find solace and security in blogging despite the heavy human traffic, and how I pause and delete every other phrase I form now.
Some things are better left unsaid, and more importantly, unread.
I never used to understand the 'I love in silence because in silence there is no rejection' line and thought it was dense and retarded. I mean, what the heck, it doesn't even make sense.
Now it does. Hell it burns in my mind.
Us both, hands are tied; hearts' not free.
But I'll give it up, give it all away, simply if you want me to.
Monday, January 07, 2008
; daybreak
Some money simply cannot be saved.
Getting a haircut by your most trusted hairdresser is definitely a want, not a need. Take it from me. In a bid to kickstart the Frugal life and save the $70 bucks I usually fork out for Shunji or Christine, I shrugged my shoulders and embraced Two Way Holistic. Only $28!!!
Bloody hell.
My youngest brother thinks I look like a nerd. Mom attempted to soothe my feelings by telling me 'It's okay, but why did you go to that salon?'
Omgwtfbbq.
Crappy fringe, what a brilliant start. :( :( :(
Emo 600 years. (HEH REMEMBER THIS ANYONE?)
Getting a haircut by your most trusted hairdresser is definitely a want, not a need. Take it from me. In a bid to kickstart the Frugal life and save the $70 bucks I usually fork out for Shunji or Christine, I shrugged my shoulders and embraced Two Way Holistic. Only $28!!!
Bloody hell.
My youngest brother thinks I look like a nerd. Mom attempted to soothe my feelings by telling me 'It's okay, but why did you go to that salon?'
Omgwtfbbq.
Crappy fringe, what a brilliant start. :( :( :(
Emo 600 years. (HEH REMEMBER THIS ANYONE?)
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
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