; here without you

I was telling Cheewee to watch his driving cos I'm not ready to die yet.

Then I recounted this.. random thought I had sometime ago.

What if I die, and the person witnessing this is Mich? (I don't know why Mich la! She just came to mind then hehehe) Imagine myself splattered in blood and intestines all that gore and her supporting meesah's lifeless body and weeping incessantly, mumbling JOV DON'T DIE JOV YOU'LL BE OKAY!

What messages would I give Michie to pass on, and who will I remember despite the agnoy and excruciating pain in my last moments?

Family
1- Bro (Jenson)
2- Dad
3- Mom
4- Baby (Beebee)
5- Cousin (Shianne)
6- Bro (Jovan)

Friends
1- Raes (poor mich will have to write to US hahaha)
2- Vic
3- Mich
4- Josh
5- Wanwin
6- Daniel (taiwan this time heehee)
7- Peidong
8- Edwin

And I can't think of anyone else right now. Hahaha quite sad hor. Though quite a feat for someone dying to mention 13 people la. EH WHY 13 OMG. -.-

Notice none of them are guys I'm or was involved in. That's the saddest thing of all! Like all my 17 years I haven't met a love worth remembering on the day I die. =(

That's why I don't wanna die yet! Hahaha!

I wanna meet my soulmate. WHERE ARE YOU! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE.

If only the O's aren't just around the corner. I've met so many people this year I wanna know better, but I just don't have the time for them.

Lemme think who I hung out with for the past couple of years. Best friends whom I lost touch with, despite hanging out with them for years.

Okay I tried naming all the important people but I realised the list would come up to hundreds and more than ten cliques so okay forget it hahaha.

I've been quite aloof recently. Dao if you like. I'm no longer the sociable butterfly who loves meeting new friends. Funny huh. I don't quite understand it myself. Maybe cos I'm happy with those I already have. So forgive me if I ignore you guys on msn, smses and calls. It's not you, it's me. I just don't feel up to.. I don't know, talking to people I'm not close to or remotely associated to or hanging out with? I don't know. For some reason I find them irritating. Guys especially. So girls, like uh. Micky Rachel Bingg Rebecca Plynn Amanta just to name a few, don't worry I love talking to you guys. Hehe.

And uh I wonder if he's clubbing la. I'm almost shy to say this, but I'm missing him, just A LITTLE already (:

And wahlao Mich do you have to be so sweet? I was happily scrolling down your newest blog entry, which I almost didn't get to read til tomorrow cos I checked your blog earlier today and I'm just plain lazy and bloated from all that food. Then I saw this effing ugly moron with a big silly grin in a familiar top smiling back at me and I saw two very familiar words. JOVINA TAN.
Hehehe I love you too.

Yknow, when we were getting closer earlier this year, I wanted to back away cos I didn't wanna break down the stone walls and give yet another person the power to hurt and upset me. Okay this sounds a little lesbiany but hmm. No homo tendencies over here la! Contrary to popular belief, I do this alot. You guys just don't know it even though I can be the friendliest person in the world to you, sharing tidbits of my life and everything. I'm so glad I didn't, and I thank god I met you. For once, he threw out the lifeline in the nick of time.

Omg I'm so sweet too. Heehee. <3

Much love to all,
Jov