; invisible wings

The good, the bad, which first?

The good news is that though I couldn't help crying and berating the boyfriend for not calling me earlier and only once a day, he took it all very well, and was so sweet he almost made me burst into tears again. It's also wonderful to hear that his platoon mates are he said and I quote, 'not bad' people. I'm keeping my fingers crossed they won't be anything like the motherfuckers of the past.

Absence makes the heart fonder so they say, but I think it applies mostly towards people you can do without, difficult though it might be. Not me. I mean it does make my heart 'fonder' but then I can't love him anymore than I already do so fonder is technically a no go.

But it does make me cherish the little time we have more, no more senseless quarrels and nonsensical fights. And I think we're kinder to each other. I should really stop starving myself and then binge after his phone call (which produces endorphins for like, 2 hours or so) cos it isn't healthy at all. It's making me feel constipated. But I digressed,

the Bad,

This won't be the only two weeks without. After booking out for a miserly Friday Saturday he's gotta return on Sunday. AND THEN TWO WEEKS AGAIN. My god. The boyfriend's WAY happy about it though, cos he can do his field camp before the lunar seventh month. *rolls eyes. The BF-Mom and I can never understand why he's so cool with everything but the supernatural which would be one of the last things on my mind. I mean, I'm so not panicking about him getting lifted away by a ghostie (I'm touching wood now though).

I need a NS-Boyfriend Girlfriend Support Group. Anyone?

I seriously don't understand the cliche 'leaving your NS boyfriend for a Uni/whatever guy cliche'. Maybe I'm weird or hopelessly devoted or something. But I'm hesitating to even respond to a platonic male friend's invite to hang cos I wasn't sure what the boyfriend would feel about it. I'm sucha wonderful girlfriend, really.

Still.. this whole meeting once a week for the rest of two years is getting me so down. And the BF I think is hoping for Sispec. OCS, even. I'm secretly hoping he'll develop Erik type asthma, is that evil of me? Whoops.