; red eye society

Numerous times I've reiterated the futility of words, these useless tools, an impediement to potray emotions, express muses as transparent as you'll like, and this is one of the times.

I would attempt, but right now the brutal process I know will overwhelm and consume me into a deeper abyss of torment, already I am bleeding, within and without, incessantly.

I once proclaimed, and I'll scream it out loud once more most indignantly, most acrimoniously:

WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE IN A GOD WHO ORCHESTRATES A LIVING HELL FOR ME TO LIVE? OR IF HE DIDN'T, PERMITS AND BESTOWS MONSTROSITIES UPON MONSTROSITIES ON ME? FUCKS TO YOU, GOD.

This is MY blog and I'm fully entitled to voice MY opinions so you God-worshipping minors, read it, shake your little heads, and make no comment. Thank you.


One of my favourite songs, Cantonese, a duet, and the lyrics perfectly applicable. Hao Xin Hao Bao and I'll do direct translation, Good heart, Good returns


(M)
Giving my all for you, doesn't win me any points. You chose to walk by his side for all time. He doesn't love nor cherish you, the role I'll be most happy to fufill.

(F)
I've made up my mind to love him, so give me your blessings. You most understand I'll remain despite the agonizing pain. Fearless of the fathomless hurt that'll be inflicted, I'm willing to wait.

Watching you nearing the steep drop of the cliff (F: Will he be touched?)
He abandoned you, his only concern; himself (F: Did he run away?)

Loving him has become my habit, what can you do? On the cliff, I'm the one who can't beat a retreat.

Treating you good, nobody yearns or appreciates my goodness. I realise you're used to his treatment, I can see clearly that you've never loved me. Though I can't have you, I'll be by your side, wishing for the arrival of your bliss

(okay good may sound a lil weird, but direct translation remember! as long as it's coherent..)

He's weaker than you in all aspects, still I insist upon loving him. Head in my hands again I listen to his fabricated tales. Praying to hear his 'I love you', still waiting, perhaps it simply isn't time yet. Aware of your love, yet I acted the contrary, forgive me, I can't be the good person to you.

I'm willing to accept the torture of hearing bout your misery, you said you'd rather unhappiness than a break up.

I said all female leads'd also suffered the same.

Sinking deeper and deeper, you believe eventually he'll promise to change,
a complete change. (F: Maybe he can do it)


Like you, I chose to disregard the warnings, I'll rather sacrifice than turn back.

I know you see me as your confidate, but to me you're the reason of my existence

Both of us are hopelessly bewitched, out of our control. However perfect we are we'll never get what our hearts' yearning.

How do I do it? No one cherishes nor likes my goodness. Do I have to follow his toying methods?

I know you're the best from the start (M: Never good enough)
Why isn't he good? (M: I'm not good enough)
Turning back I still return to his embrace.

I still believe I'll have the good returns a good heart does, maybe one day, I'll truly understand.