; you ni bian you wo

I've long realised the joys of sitting in front of my comp with a fag and my fave songs. But only now do I discover that besides brushing the petty miseries of life aside, it takes away the good feelings as well, leaving me empty and back to my ol' jaded self.

But it was a good end to the week, meeting Michie Sis and having baby by my side always ends up well no matter how fucked up I feel before hand.

No more earlier hostile thoughts towards anyone, my anger comes and go really quick I guess.

Sigh. To my sis, like what I whispered to you earlier, yeah, we might have our little disagreements and unhappiness like any other people, but know that we're always sisters. Almost half a year since we got our matching tattoos, and I usually just look at it with unseeing eyes. But when I showered earlier, I stroked it gently, it's more than bodyart, it's a symbol of our years of sisterhood. And there's so much I want to tell you, and so tightly I wish to hold you and take your pain and tears away. But I'm helpless and I hate the unkind knowledge of that that won't seem to go away. And your tears make me cry harder than yourself. A little outside, but so much more within.

Oh I just heard the good news. THEY PATCHED. Lol. Okay now this emo post makes me feel so foolish. But whatever. Heehee. Okay. You owe me a treat since it was MY IDEA TO SECRETLY CALL CALV.

I love my Michie too. What will I do without you. With you I feel so completely safe and at ease. Like there's some guardian angel looking out for me. Fuck this sounds wrong and all but yeah. Hehe.

And baby. I can write essays on how happy I am with you. But.. yeah I don't wanna jinx anything. Haha, guess I'm silly superstitious this way.

Sometimes, I feel this is all I need to complete me. With my little girl lying on my lap, and the knowledge that my family's sound asleep, near and close to heart as well.

I don't need the brands, I don't need the popularity I used to be part of. I'm happy now. Of course, losing 10 kgs would be nice, but yeah. It's more a want than a need now. Hahaha.

Josh, Kitty, Vic, Leo, and many others, I haven't forgotten you guys. And I haven't forgotten you either. But, I'm happy now.