; dance with my father

Rebonded my hair. Straight is an understatement, $175 is a lil high considering the rebonding rates these days, but I can't get over what that nice but undoubtedly noobish hairdresser did to my fringe.. the bangs look.. weird. Guess I gotta improvise them when I dye my hair next week.

Removed the braces. Will be on retainer from next week onwards for bout half a year I think. Which is kinda sickening, and inconvenient cos I gotta take them off when I eat and brush my teeth. Which means before eating I gotta go to the toilet and remove them which is kinda gross, isn't it?

Besides that I look pretty much the same I guess. Gained a hefty 5-6 kgs which means I'm roughly half the size of a baby killer whale.

Considering everything, life should be pretty good these days. But leave it to me to soak up the lil miseries and forget the good. I miss Mich. I miss Raes. I miss Vic. I miss Josh. I miss Mickster. I miss Jing Ammy Fenny Sooin Pris. I miss Ervin Shawn Lei Jekong. I miss Matt. I miss Peiling Lingwei Von Mel. I miss Esther and Linin. I miss Yuru Lydia Deb. I miss Edwin Yongcheng Mengwee. And I can go on and on but forget it already.

My brother decided not to run away and to head off to court after all. Which is what I deem the right thing to do, but the repercussions? Perhaps 2 or 3 years in the Boys' home. Everyone who knows me well knows how protective and how close I am to my brother. So yeah, try to imagine how fucked up I feel. And being much poorer than I once was, I can't afford to spoil and pamper him with money or stuff. I can't even ensure his meals ffs. Sometimes I hate myself for being so useless.

I can only hope and pray that all goes well and he'll be sentenced with tagging or an extended probation which are both unlikely. I can't attend his court, juvenile court's only for the parents which is a screwed up rule if you ask me. Not to crowd the courtroom with noisy kids I can understand but what about family?

back when i was a child, before life removed all the innocence, my father would lift me high, and dance with my mother my brother and me and then. spin us around till we fell asleep. then up the stairs they would carry us, and i knew for sure i was loved.

if i could get another chance, another walk, another dance with them, i'd play a song tt would never ever end. how i'd love love love t dance with my family again.