; discovery channel

And St Francis students get worst and worst. The best time was the year before I entered, or the year before that, tons of fun and non pretentious people, but my second year, and this year has been littered disgustingly with the new 'town' clique, namely all the IJ (I've nothing against convent girls, lotsa friends actually) little miss riches, (no I'm not bitter, trust me money is something my family isn't short of) who annoys the hell outta me. Oh, and most of them are 17 this year. Or is it 16? *rolls eyes

; endless rain

Been indulging in X Japan's haunting ballads since last night, when I decided to push my being into emo maximus by re-watching hide's funeral. That one video that ALWAYS results, almost gleefully it seems, in reducing me to helpless floods of tears.

And the reason for the low ness? It would be paragraphs otherwise so make do with;

uncertainty
dependency
frustration

A friend had left earlier this year for the foundation year of the prestigious university I hoped to enter next, should've left this Feb, or July, but I needed.. no wanted, more time.. which I question not a few times since, that it was a wrong move. I am not proud.. ashamed of the fact that I am a retainee.. I've been regretting the 'give myself one extra year to study' nonsense I insisted on despite my mother and teacher's protest that I shouldn't waste time, that a year would be adequate. Just like how I've been regretting extracting the four teeth that was deemed unnecessary.. I wanted perfection and it turned out a bite on the back. Mother knows best, after all.

Assuming I didn't waste any time, no retains, no bumming around, I would have been in a university at 18, a year ahead of the JC system in Singapore. Now, I will be half a year behind the JC batch my year. Still ahead of the poly students of course (no offense meant), but I do not like to lag.. many would not know that I am a highly competitive person..

This post sounds kinda odd.. unJov wouldn't you say? I don't know what's gotten into me too. *gives myself a shake

The main point is, my friend is living in an apartment, which I most probably will be, I do not like the idea of hostels.. with all the.. regulations. The difference is, her boyfriend is with her. Studying in a different instituition. I've never really thought of it, but now that I did.. it is a blow. Envy spawns inferiority.. If I were to be in a foreign country with a close friend, or a love(r).. what a big difference it would be! No fear, but excitement. Anxiety, even, to begin a new life..

; would you be there

If I were blue, would you be there for me and whisper in my ear that's okay?
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time?

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me, and touch my lips with tender loving care?
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back?

Would you be there to love, to be with me,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you'll always be the one
To take my breath away?

If I'm away, would you still think of me,
And wish that you could hold me now?
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you'll always be there,
To kiss my pain away?

Would you be there.. for me?


I love this song. It's from the local drama Mars Vs Venus that just finished its 20epi broadcast. Yeah, I'm a sucker for channel 8 primetime television. After a few episodes I was singing along to the show and my cousin was smirking (? I have no idea why) whilst telling me 'You can sing the whole song already huh?'