; gone

Did I mention that I brought my baby to grooming and now she smells like a rose and her fur's soft and fluffy to the touch.

Digressed.

I once read this quote from somewhere, "Don't blame yourself, cos you've lived your life the best you could. Nobody sets out to ruin their own life". Sadly, or maybe simply pathetically, that's not true in my case. I think my subconcious is deliberately trying to sabotage and wreck any good thing in my life.

I tried to explain this point to Wanwin and Erik once, I don't know if they really got my drift, though. Maybe I'm too self centered to truly believe anyone can fully understand my train of thought, and what I go through as I walk through the daily routine of my life.

Before the call, I was musing in my head. "I'm too hard on him. I expect perfection when I already have one of the best boyfriends around. How can I be so overbearing, when my temperament makes me further from the fragments of perfection that I myself seek. I'm sucha difficult girlfriend, I have trust issues and terrible mood swings, and he becomes the unwitting catalyst and victim alike, of everything. Okay I'll tell him how wonderful he is later hehehe."

And the very next moment I contradict myself and everything I was planning by demanding a break-up. Yeah and here I am listening to the most emo songs on my playlist and smoking like my life depended on it. I'm sucha sucker I know.

Thanks for putting up with me for 5 months. Love you baby.

I miss my brother. It's sad that I have to put into words of a letter inexplicable emotions to the one I love best in the world. I pray that no one will have to be separated from a kin so deeply loved, like myself. I wish this pain onto no one.

Haha and to think I was telling my mom, 'Hey maybe I should skip the antidepressies this month huh?' Sigh. I know I talk alot. I can go on typing mindlessly into this sanctuary essays of how terrible a hand life has dealth on me, but lets spare you, poor reader the agony.

Emo 1000000 years. Haven't heard this for awhile huh, Sel, Mich, Win, Sis, and the people?

Say goodnight and go.

; war and beauty

I've been hooked onto this TVB drama, War and Beauty. Baby Sis my family and maybe Michie should be VERY clear bout this. Haha. My life would revolve around catching the show while it was screening on SCV at Baby's house, but I only manage to catch like half the show cos Baby's SCV is screwed haha. And I just got the channel recently at home, my dad removed it cos he thought we were watching too much telly haha.

Anyway. The concubines and ladies were all scheming and fighting for the emperor's love. Poor women. But I think,

Gaining someone's love is easy. It's retaining it that's the tough part.

And I'm tired of trying so hard. Maybe I should let nature run it's course.

I should be less cynical and learn to have faith in someone, that if he does love me like he says, he will never do anything to hurt me. (:

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with Your negative traits: Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down. Your ideal partner: Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt! Your dating style: Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another. Your seduction style: Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship. Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild. Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac. Tips for the future: Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you. Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing. Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first. Best color to attract mate: Aqua Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's Your Love Profile?

Your Love Type: ENFP

The Inspirer In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond. For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate. Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner. However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad. Best matches: INTJ and INFJ

What's Your Love Type?