The silence I once find so comforting is stifling, it's suffocating.
Surfing friendster for awhile reduced me to feeling close to a worthless pool of too much mass. Has my self estemn hit an all time low? I wonder.
More like, I miss town. I miss The People. I feel like I've been absent so long, I've been forgotten. I've always secretly prided myself on having depth in my soul, but perhaps I am shallow, I am superficial after all? Could it be the popularity I surreptitiously miss, and yearn?
I've excused myself from town for almost a year now, by claiming I'm too tired, too weary of social politics and this tendency to look out for the mullen people I know hanging on a daily basis over there. And like the time I went MIA for a couple of months, I feel stressed returning. I'm not saying I can't pop by to shop or anything. It's the thought of sitting at Rocky's for hours, or the railings, or outside Cheers, yknow what I mean?
Of course, the twits who proudly declare their ZAI-ING of Cine doesn't help. Fairly endearing as amusement though, I gotta say. Not to forget the new people, those who's been around for a couple of months acting like they're all that. Save my nerves please.
I'm whining. Yes I'm rambling ranting senselessly.
Would you believe my phonebook contains less than a 100 numbers? Remember those days when numbers could only be saved by either simcard, or phone, no such thing as phone memory? Yeah, mine was full and I constantly had to edit numbers, cos there was a max. of 500 numbers. And when those cool blue new phones came out I had 700+. Now? I barely contact more than 10 people. When I use to receieve texts from at least 10 people on any day.
I don't know why I'm complaining. Maybe I just feel lonely. Maybe it's my own fault for alienating the rest and choosing to live in my own little world.
Life's like this. Who ever said anything about life being good?
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