; still feel the pain everytime i hear your name

Cuddling over at his place days ago, I was mysteriously overwhelmed with an inexplicable attack of deja vu.

That he would be the B.K of two years ago.

I would be blessed by the arrows of Cupid with what I secretly desired, then, those sweet moments would end as fleetly as winged doves. Not by my choice.


The inevitable has fallen.

Now I'm only praying two years later, I wouldn't be feeling for him the way I occasionally still feel for B.K.

; if only tears could bring you back

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: JOV

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: guess who wrote this

thanks for being there esp those nights. gna be quite shitty when you leave. and then im like rawr, like pressure cooker with damn pressure cos there's no one. 

mm love you loads for always trying to help over the phone. thanks for all the calllls. late night calls, accidental calls, lame calls, 5 mins calls, studying calls, illgeals calls. made my life so much more interesting, what bout yours? talking confiding, listening, advising, trying hahaha. and all others we ve done that ive left out. 

im so grateful cos youre always there somehow, and you nvr fail to cheer me up again, and i knw i always have you to turn to kkkk i jst want to thank you for the wonderful friendship we ve had so far and i hope it will last. youre special and will always be and i am definitely unafraid to say i love you cos i really do! 

some nights ago, i made this promise, tht you will be the rad kid josh, amongst all the joshs tht i knw and will remember plus love the most. 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: that girl? 

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: it was u 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: . 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: was not

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: since when do i use language like 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: rad 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: DUDE 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: WHAT RAD SIA 

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: duno 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: and what's with rawr  

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: i saved it 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: HAHA

; awaiting your promised future

I am absolutely disgusted and appalled by my actions last night.

And horrified at what I've done since Monday.

All for a guy whom I've known for what, 10 days?!

The ironic thing is, it took a healthy dosage of Martell, Emily, Kelly and Ivy to rouse me from my state of what can only be called utter pathetic-ation.

I still wonder, though.

Who was right, and who wrong? Did I make a mistake of losing a potential true love? (highly unlikely), or did I save myself by forcing the situation to a halt thus eradicating the chances of future hurt.

I guess this will just have to go down on the list of 'The things you never knew'.