; and i'm sharing a dream with a memory

Time to get some accounting done and away with.

Vevian - 150 000
XiaoXiang - 15 000
Kunlong - 120 000
Tingting - 20 000

Yay. I should just tread in the shoes of Ahlongs of the world and start splashing paint and cutting wires just for the fun of it.

And I so need to lose 5 or is it 7 kilos now so I can live up to what I said and pursue thus scaring the hell outta the man of my dreams (only, I'm almost totally over him.)

Hahaha.

I've got almost exactly two months left to TP and a thousand more lessons to clear. My lazy ass is burning a hole in my chair but I'm not moving.

HA, Ting stuck her nose all accusatory like to the moniter - 'Can you stop blogging about him?' The smug smirk on my face when she saw the neat column of figures.

Oooh, someone's been spreading stories on how I'm his ex girlfriend! Teeheehee. Self-satisfied grin again.

Forgive my mindless ramblings. I'm bored and sleepy, bad combination that comes along everytime gloomy Monday comes skipping up.

; a pill to make you dumb

I'm suffocating, every moment it gets harder to breathe and I don't know why.

Maybe it's every fiery exchange of brutal lashes we hurl at each other.
Maybe it's how I feel sick in the gut to imagine you happy without me.

There's this constant ache in my heart, and I feel the heaviest stone of the world weighing upon my chest.

Heartache is this physical. =(


So the player got played..

; everyone's looking round thinking i'm going crazy

You baby me.
You partner me.
You toy me.
You break me.

Your words, Rino.


You started.
You played.
You lied.
You ended.

Mine.

; the unit number of heaven's a question mark

Manwhore.

Jolyne huh.

So stop denying you played, lied and cheated on me, BASTARD.

Quit mindfucking me with your 'Don't make me say things to hurt you which I never do to hurt you'.

I was blind, maybe I tripped, but I'm past caring now.

Fuckface.

; still feel the pain everytime i hear your name

Cuddling over at his place days ago, I was mysteriously overwhelmed with an inexplicable attack of deja vu.

That he would be the B.K of two years ago.

I would be blessed by the arrows of Cupid with what I secretly desired, then, those sweet moments would end as fleetly as winged doves. Not by my choice.


The inevitable has fallen.

Now I'm only praying two years later, I wouldn't be feeling for him the way I occasionally still feel for B.K.

; if only tears could bring you back

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: JOV

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: guess who wrote this

thanks for being there esp those nights. gna be quite shitty when you leave. and then im like rawr, like pressure cooker with damn pressure cos there's no one. 

mm love you loads for always trying to help over the phone. thanks for all the calllls. late night calls, accidental calls, lame calls, 5 mins calls, studying calls, illgeals calls. made my life so much more interesting, what bout yours? talking confiding, listening, advising, trying hahaha. and all others we ve done that ive left out. 

im so grateful cos youre always there somehow, and you nvr fail to cheer me up again, and i knw i always have you to turn to kkkk i jst want to thank you for the wonderful friendship we ve had so far and i hope it will last. youre special and will always be and i am definitely unafraid to say i love you cos i really do! 

some nights ago, i made this promise, tht you will be the rad kid josh, amongst all the joshs tht i knw and will remember plus love the most. 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: that girl? 

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: it was u 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: . 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: was not

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: since when do i use language like 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: rad 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: DUDE 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: WHAT RAD SIA 

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: duno 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: and what's with rawr  

J Φ ﻛ ђ says: i saved it 

joviee.* shawty is a killaaaaa. says: HAHA

; awaiting your promised future

I am absolutely disgusted and appalled by my actions last night.

And horrified at what I've done since Monday.

All for a guy whom I've known for what, 10 days?!

The ironic thing is, it took a healthy dosage of Martell, Emily, Kelly and Ivy to rouse me from my state of what can only be called utter pathetic-ation.

I still wonder, though.

Who was right, and who wrong? Did I make a mistake of losing a potential true love? (highly unlikely), or did I save myself by forcing the situation to a halt thus eradicating the chances of future hurt.

I guess this will just have to go down on the list of 'The things you never knew'.